Welcome to Dermphase, a space where we’re here to offer support, share knowledge, and build a community for those facing tough times - whether it's illness or the challenges that come with it.
In this blog, I want to open up about something deeply personal that has shaped my journey: the experience of chronic pain and, perhaps even harder, the grief of losing the person I once was. This isn’t just my story; it’s one that I know many others are living, and I hope sharing it will bring some comfort and connection to those who feel the same. So lets dive in….
Grief is something we all experience at some point in life, but nothing prepared me for the grief of losing the "healthy me." It felt like I was watching my former self slowly fade away, leaving behind a version of me I didn’t recognize.
I found myself staring at old photos, reminiscing about the days when my body felt strong, agile, and fully functional. These memories stirred up a storm of emotions from crying, longing, and overwhelming anger and frustration. I kept asking, "Why is this my reality? What did I do to deserve this much pain?" It felt like the best part of me had been taken away. This new me was someone I didn’t want to acknowledge; I honestly hated who I had become.
But eventually, I had to face reality...I had to ask for help to deal with this loss! I needed to understand how to rebuild myself and what to expect on this journey towards finding the "new healthy me."
Here are some key lessons I’ve learned so far on this journey:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's essential to recognize all your emotions - the good, the bad, and especially the ugly.
- Grieving is Natural: Mourning your former self is a natural and necessary part of adjusting to your new reality.
- Give Yourself Space: Allow yourself the space to mourn. It’s okay to feel sad about what you’ve lost, and it’s okay to express that sadness in whatever way feels right for you.
- Be Gentle with Yourself: Healing, both physical, mentality and emotionally, takes time. Don’t rush the process - this is your time.
- Celebrate the Little Wins: Enjoy the small victories and be open to the process of healing. I must admit this was a hard one too acknowledge, but little things count
- Honour Your Past Self: This journey is not about forgetting who you were, but about honouring that version of yourself while embracing who you are now.
- Find New Joys or hobbies: You may discover new strengths and find new ways to experience joy and fulfillment along the way.
- Maintain Social Connections: Engage in activities that bring you peace and happiness, even if they look different from before. Maintaining a social aspect in your life can make a significant difference in your outlook. Even though the pain can be overwhelming sometimes. Being around family, friends and little outings can be healing to the soul. Dont let excuses stop you from being social!
- Communication: It is important that you communicate with your friends and family that you are finding the new you. Let them know that, with time, you will get there - at your own pace and to please be paitent and understanding during this process.
- Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek professional support to guide you through this process. Therapists, counsellors, or support groups can provide the assistance you need to navigate your emotions and challenges. I found talking to a psychologist really opened my eyes to things I hadn’t even recognized as personal wins. She also gave me techniques to process my emotions better and helped me learn how to be more mindful.
So please remember, you are not alone on this journey of mourning and healing. Many others have walked this path and found new ways to thrive. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel, and ultimately, to heal. The person you are now deserves just as much love and compassion as the person you once were.
Lastly, I would like to acknowledge the people in my life, who have helped me rebuild and find the new healthy me. So, a big thank you to my wonderful mum Christine, business partner Annabelle, my supportive family, friends and the professional support Dr Vasic and Stephaine Clinical psychologist.
If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help. You don’t have to go through this alone - help is available!!!!
You can contact: Lifeline (Australia): 13 11 14
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